Baby Shower

Most of you know about my friends from Liberia.  I met them about 7 years ago.  They were new to the country.  The mother, Sophie, and her 7 children were here.  They were without her husband and two other step-children.  She was raised in the "bush" and does not know how to read or write.  She has struggled.  But she has held her current job at the airport for several years now.  Their family has grown from 8 to 11.  And very soon there will be 12.  That is where this story begins.

Gueron, one of Sophie's daughters, is a young girl who we worked with through the Young Women's program.  She was always a bright hope for the family.  She was doing well in school.  She has since graduated from high school and is taking classes at a community college.  She has a job working at a center for mentally handicapped adults.  And very soon she will deliver a baby girl. 

So I was invited to a baby shower for Gueron.  I decided to go.  I wanted her to know I still loved and cared about her.  Wow!  What an experience!

I was the only white person there.  I showed up at 6:00 - the appointed hour.  The hostess and her adult daughter were still cleaning.  There was sweeping and mopping going on.  They smiled at me but continued with their work.  I tried to keep myself busy by interacting with 2 little boys who were there.  Jo jo was 4 and his brother (couldn't understand his name) was 3.  They were nice enough.  We talked about lots of things.  They seemed very interested in my blue eyes and light colored hair.  Jo jo very seriously said, "When I get white I will have blue eyes!"  And I told him that I loved his dark brown eyes and black hair.  I'm not sure they were ever that close to a white person before.  Gueron's sister, Kelly, was also there.  I knew her and we talked for quite a while.  She works at the airport too.  But she actually works for Delta cleaning the planes between flights.  So she has some nice benefits like free domestic flights.  And international flights are $80.  So she is planning on going back to Liberia once she gets her green card.  She will see her dad and other family and friends.  I am hoping she will also take Sophie with her.

What made my time waiting for the baby shower to begin and other folks to show up interesting was that English is definitely a 2nd or 3rd language for everyone.  I couldn't understand much of what was said.  But I had to listen closely because their English is so heavily accented it was easy to miss.  They had some of their favorite music blaring, I mean playing in the back ground.  It wasn't in English either.  Later on I was told some of it was Liberian Religious music.  Some of it was pretty. 

At about 7:00 I heard some whispering about needing paper plates so I volunteered to go get some.  That took about 15 minutes.  Not nearly long enough.  Because when I came back to the baby shower I was still the only one there.  Oh well.  Now at least I put some fruit and cake on my plate and continued waiting.  At this point I didn't know if anyone else would come.  So I hated to leave before the gifts were opened. 

Anyway, finally the hostess and her daughter showered and got dressed and came out.  The mother sat stiffly on the couch and said, "We need to play games!  That is what you do at a baby shower!"  Her daughter was obviously not planning on playing games.  So we sat some more.  Finally a person showed up.  Then another.  By then it was about 8:00. 

I was trying to find a way to escape - I mean leave the baby shower .  So I got up and thanked the hostess and said I needed to leave.  She was offended that I didn't eat any of the "dinner" food.  I don't think I ever had any African food before.  I had stealthily avoided ever going there.  One very large man that was there told me it would be very spicy.  Gueron shook her head and said I could handle it.  So I got a glass of water at hand and agreed to try some rice and chicken.  It was good.  There was a little spice but not bad at all. 

Just as I sat on the couch to finish my chicken and rice a group of my dark skinned sisters were gathering and chattering.  I could tell something was going on.  So the hostess' daughter looked at me and said that now we would all pray together.  OK?  I nodded.  But I was not ready for what happened next.  Everyone prayed together - out loud - all at once.  But the one girl in charge was the lead.  A couple other girls were praying rhythmically in another language - probably French.  But it could be their native dialect too.  The main girl got up and started pacing.  She spoke in English and covered topics like:  keeping evil out of our lives, preparing Gueron for having a baby, praying for safe delivery and healthy baby, mentioning all things we were blessed with, etc, etc, etc.  She started with a normal voice and paced back and forth.  The longer she prayed the louder she got.  And the louder she got the faster she walked and talked. I think she was working up a sweat.  I know I was!  And after a very long and uncomfortable 5 minutes, her voice began to get quieter and her pace slowed down and she sounded less desperate.  Then at long last she said, "Amen".  I did too.  Now I was really ready to go.  It was 8:30.

But when I told Gueron I needed to go it was obvious she wasn't ready for me to leave the baby shower just yet.  She took me out back to have our picture taken.  The very large man that spoke to me earlier was a photographer and had a nice backdrop set up with a very nice camera.  He took our picture and then she asked him to print it out so I could take it with me.  So I waited some more as he opened the package of photo paper and then loaded each separate cartridge of colored ink into the printer all the while talking and laughing and taking his sweet time!  Sheesh!  Finally I could hear the printer working.  The picture was a full 8 x 10 page.  They gave it to me to take home. 

By the time I left the baby shower there were only 3 other people there besides the hostess and Gueron. There was still no movement towards opening the gifts but at this point, 2 1/2 hours after arriving I didn't care.  I was leaving.  She told me that the party would go on late into the evening.  Basically, I was leaving before the real party began.  But I was OK with that and finally made my exit.

What an experience!  That is one baby shower  I will probably never forget.   I have had lots of interesting experiences with this refugee family from Liberia.  Scott thinks I should write a book about all my experiences.  But I think I have blocked many of those experiences from my mind.  Thankfully so.