Sophie

My Friend Sophie. What can I say? It seems I have known her for a very long time. But she had only been in this country for 5 years. Only! But a lot has happened in her life - a lot in 5 years too.

Sophie is couple years younger than me. She was born in Liberia - in the "bush". She never attended school. She has a husband and a family. She has birthed 10 children. The children were born without medical help. Maybe a couple of ladies would help - but she had 10 what I would call "natural births" - not by choice but by lack of choice.

When the war approached their village she had 7 young children: oldest daughter, set of twins, Kelly, Decontee, Gouleon, and Gueron. Gueron was just weeks old. The family grabbed their children and ran. The oldest daughter was shot and killed as they fled. The war approached several more times. They had 3 more children during the years of war and escape: Otis, Lazare, and Joel. They ended up at some "camp" in Ivory Coast. They were finally in a place where they could start paper work to be relocated as refugees. They waited a very long time until finally Sohpie and the children were approved. The twins are still in Liberia and will probably stay there. Her husband still awaits for an opportunity to come. She also has 2 step children who have applied to come with their dad - Sophie's husband.

Sophie never went to school. I don't believe her husband did either. Her daily routine in Africa consisted of going every day a couple of miles to collect firewood to cook the daily meal. They brought the wood back stacked high on their heads/backs. She doesn't read. She has since learned her letters and can write her name - but she still has dreams of going to school and learning to read and write. School in Liberia cost money that they didn't have. So they had to make heartbreaking decisions such as which child would get to attend school and which ones did not. The oldest 2 daughters that are here never did attend school until coming here at age 16 and 17. They had a tough time in school but the younger one did graduate from high school. They certainly understand the value of an education and Sophie is making certain that her kids go to school - the one exception is Otis the problem child.

I first met her in Cortez Park ward. The missionaries had tracted into her and were teaching her. They helped the family a lot - especially keeping the kids' bike tires pumped up. She and the children came to church. Brother Taylor was a ward missionary at the time and was also very friendly and helpful to Sophie and her kids. I think I was made aware that they were in need of some groceries. They were out of money so I drove her to the store and through her heavily accented English we barely managed to communicate. We got her groceries and she was so humble and thankful. Something about her drew me in and I just knew she needed help - a friend - some encouragement. Eventually Sophie and 3 children were baptized.

Over the years I have been able to help quite a lot. I helped with: getting 2 of her sons' their social security cards (the rest got theirs without a glitch), filled out multiple forms to help them get food stamps, took her to appointments at the DES and assisted in the communications with workers, took her to the store and helped her in using her WIC coupons, helped her fill out a multitude of applications for work, took her to a bazillion interviews for work, took her to the doctor when she suffered a concussion while at work at the airport, actually helped her pass a test in order to work at the airport, filled out a bazillion forms to register the children in schools (they have moved at least 8 times - and we have helped with a majority of those moves), took the kids to get caught up on immunizations and had to hold down a strong yet reluctant 10 year old while getting his shots, I took them to the schools to register, I was on the emergency call list at the schools and responded when I needed to, I helped Sophie to deal with a naughty - very naughty son, bought school supplies for the kids for several years, attended school functions like track and field days and graduations and graduation parties, bought graduation shoes for one of the girls, I have taken Sophie to the police station to get Otis out of scrapes with the law, I have gone to court a couple of times with her, I have cried with her when she has had to move to a new place far from her familiar surroundings, I have had tough conversations with her about her troubled son who caused them to be asked to move from several apartments, I have seen her cleaning her house topless (I guess she was trying to experience some of the good old days in Africa), I have thrilled with her as her daughters have graduated from high school (3 so far), we have helped with homework and essays for one of the daughters, we have had one son show up at our door when he says he was beaten for being bad and didn't want to go home, we have given Sophie lectures about not being able to beat her kids here in the states, I have helped them get their Arizona ID's, gone multiple times to the immigration offices to ask about the status of their relative asylee forms and their stagnant green card applications, I have seen her deal with 2 daughters getting pregnant and having babies, there was a muslim who was trying to convert Otis and would take him to prayers and gave him a very nice bike and etc. - she asked us to come talk to the neighbor and ask him to leave Otis alone and that was scarry - the cops were called and we were both shaking when it was over, we took Gueron to many YW activites, we also took the boys to some Primary activities and an outdoor carnival, and so much more. Sometimes I got tired of helping. Sometimes I would feel guilty when I did not want to help.

One time when we were together Sophie said something that caught me off guard. She said, "Carrie, God sent you to help me. You are my sister. Your skin is white and mine is black but you are my sister. You were sent to help me." I think about that quite a bit. Maybe I was sent to help her. She is my sister. She needs my help. I can help. So I will.

The past couple of years she hasn't needed so much help. Our friendship remains strong but she has become pretty self-reliant and doesn't ask me to help so often. But the other day I called her for some help. Isaac is looking for work - FYI there aren't many jobs out there. Anyway, I know there is probably a lot of turn over at the airport janitorial jobs so I wanted to know where he could apply. She offered to go down with Isaac and show him where to apply at terminal 3. She also got some online addresses that he could contact. She needed help bringing an entertainment center to her apartment from DI. So we did that for her. I took this picture of Sophie, one of her grandsons - Caleb, and her cousin.

They are my dark skinned sisters and brother.